My Friday Five

Here are 5 things that have made my week special!

1. I got a science all picked out for the middle school kids co-op class!! This is not an easy thing to do....LOL! I have to keep in mind the parents and the kids. But, its done and I'm happy with it and super excited! I picked Abeka's Earth and Space!

2. Caleb, who is our middle child and 12yrs old, hasn't felt well for a few days. I took him to the dr bc he is not a lay around "I'm so tired" child and it is just a virus, thank God! But, he has been extra lovey this week and its been nice bc I've missed it. He is such a super sweet kid!

3. I got a phone call from a super sweet friend that I haven't seen or talked to since last Oct and it was so nice to hear from her and to catch up! All it takes is one phone call to brighten your day.

4. Hannah loves American Girl dolls and she wants the newest one. Her name is McKenna. They look an a lot alike too.Hannah wanted me to do her hair like McKenna's is in the book when she is in her gymnastics clothes and I did. It turned out real cute. What do you think?

Here is McKenna and Hannah

5. Our oldest son, Josh, is on the youth praise and worship team at our church. He just started on this team last month. He plays the electric guitar and the acoustic. He prefers the electric though :) He has been going to all the practices just to get more comfortable and learn all that he can before he starts to play in service. He is such a great young man and we are so proud that he would just go and learn all he can and not expect to just play all the time!

I so wish I was better at this.....

The title is how I feel about this blog and many other things in my life right now. Things are very overwelming to me right now and I'm trying to get my footing back under myself. I know that God is there but I wonder what is He doing....not that I want some divine intervention but I want something. Something tangible to know that He is there and that I have a purpose here. I want to know that I am loved and worth it....worth anything. Hindsight is definately 20/20 and I know there is NOTHING I can do about decisions that I made in the past BUT I can hold on to God's promises and know that I can have a positive future.

Some things have really smacked me in the face lately and the major one is........I hate who I have become. I have allowed different situations to change who I am and how I behave and treat others....mostly members in my own house. I have become very angry over not feeling wanted or worthy. I have become jaded towards certain situations and people. I want to totally let God to take all this from me and heal this but I"m scared. Scared that I will be too vulnerable....too open and out there to protect myself. Self defense is HUGE in me.

I need to see myself the way that God sees me..